u_u

Apr. 20th, 2015 04:22 pm
ladynoremon: (loveless)
[personal profile] ladynoremon
So, Saturday night I was setting-up my S Planner on my S5. I'm trying to get used to it as I'm used to my RAZR. Anyway since I have my Google account on it it synced my Google Calendars. Which is alright as I'm subscribed to a Canadian holidays one. But I learned Mother’s Day isn't on it so I went to the website to subscribe to an American one. While there I noticed the old RP records calendar was in my list. I quickly just mass set it to read only then hid it from my list. I felt productive, like I was stopping something before it started. It hadn't been added to since 2012 and since it had events & such added by other people I didn't want to delete it, but I didn't want to risk anyone remembering it and adding/editing/deleting things maliciously. I already dealt with someone last year editing RP comments in 3 year-old threads, which really unnerved me, so I figured I was silently preventing that before it might happen (since changing my old RP LiveJournal’s security it’s felt safer). It took less than a minute and I didn't think of it again the rest of the night, being too busy searching for used v2 Tamagotchi & watching “Ace of Cakes”. Well seems Google sent access change notifications to everyone on the list. I didn't add anyone, but it still sent an automated e-mail. I wasn't aware of this until I woke-up and checked my e-mail. To which I had received an aggressive, unwanted e-mail accusing me of purposely adding people who want nothing to do with me to the calendar to harass them, and threatening to try to have all my accounts suspended/disabled/deleted. I have so many filters in place, but this got through. So I've been on edge & feeling sick all day. I hate how my trying to add more safety backfired. Like any reporting would show the other party initiating contact, the edited comments, and the statistics visits. And the dates which the e-mail addresses were given access to the calendar originally. I am not responsible for an automated message being sent. One probably would have been sent if I’d hidden or deleted the calendar too, or removed people from access completely. There was probably one sent-out originally too when it was first set-up. Would I set it to read only if I had known it’d send notifications? Probably not. Would I do it again not knowing? Yes. I felt so preventative.

In February I posted several places & stated previously that any contact from that group even through other people was unwanted [Kylee, Gil, & Sarah]. But again my setting a boundary didn't matter (I hate the 'we can contact you all we want despite your stating not to, but if we even get an automated e-mail it's harassment'). I have been doing so much better too. After the statistics hits finally stopped I felt safer (though 5 yesterday is 'acceptable' given the automated e-mail), and have been doing better at socialisation. It is so unnerving with someone who hates you reading everything you say. I was just thinking the past week how it was finally starting to feel less like an overhanging weight. I'm in a new job program and have been feeling optimistic with it. The one assigned to me actually seems to care. I have an interview with the one there that deals in job placement this or next week. I'm even working on my driver’s licence. I shouldn't have to be dealing with this crap & fear.

I’ve tried to not fall into going offline & withdrawing, but feeling so sick to my stomach & exhausted hasn't helped that bravery. Ace Attorney crack, tweeting with virt, and the Dragon Ask Box did help some though. And the fact that April 19TH is my babygirl’s birthday. Pretty much that I had a new tent for her was the reason I even got out of bed. But anyway, if I'm not around much or at all besides Queue, then that’s why. I give-up. I am so exhausted.

EDIT---
{ http://moby.to/ptn8fr } A screenshot of one of the edited comment e-mail notifications.

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