From Nintendo 3DS On October 30TH, 2013
Oct. 30th, 2013 03:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladynoremonWell another post, this time I plan to update on my health since I got more results back on Monday. I'm still feeling like it doesn't matter if I post or not. Or if I'm even around or sociable. So, so many people are alright without me around, so many happily cutting me out, and going along perfectly fine playing that I never existed. Going around on every account to Block me, not because I'm contacting them, but because my presence is the bother. I even saw someone change the name of something so that there'd be no connection. The removing me from accounts where I'm not even active really hurts. It's like they're trying to say "You were right to be scared. See how worthless you are? See you really didn't exist?" and it makes me fear more eradication. And I get so I don't even want to be online or anywhere. It just won't stop. Begging or anything just seems to invite it, and I just feel so pointless. I feel like since so many are alright without me around, everyone would be. I hate not being able to fully trust close friends aren't, but the feelings don't go away, and there is always more stuff to keep confirming them.
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Since the late winter/early spring I've felt so tired. Like not even just depressed tired. But I've had very little energy, and weak with hand strength & such. I at first just figured it was because I had given-up. I had a lot of stress & painful removals in the spring (and more recently), and I thought that I was so tired because I didn't feel much point with anything anymore. But I asked my doctor for bloodwork because it could also be my anaemia being a jerk. Well the first bloodwork showed my Iron was fine, but my white blood cell count was high. So another test, and one for a stomach ulcer, and no infection was found but the white blood cells were even higher. Waited 2 weeks and another test with again the count was high. I've been tested for mono', and that's been negative. No urinary track infections or flus. So Dr. Yafai thinks it could be a warning for something to develop with my bone marrow, like leukemia. I've got to go for bloodwork every 3 months now, and if the count reaches 20,000 he'll have my marrow tested. I have now had my blood tested 4 times in the past 3 months and on average it has been around 15,000.
I also had to see Dr. Ruddy (an ear's nose & throat specialist with a thick Scottish accent) because of that lump Dr. Saunders found, & I've also been having spells of a tightness in my throat & trouble swallowing. Usually the things I have trouble with are things neither liquid or solid--like soup or milkshakes. I had an endoscopy done, and I fucking hate them. It gave me the creeps because it felt like a long, thin snake was going down my throat. He didn't use anesthetic so I had a sore throat for days after too. He thought it might be my stomach causing some of it so on Thanksgiving weekend I also had to go do a barium X-ray/follow-through which is my least favourite test so far. I had one back in 2006 & couldn't keep the barium down, and this time I had to drink 2 smaller cups (one while standing, and one through a straw while laying down), and then 2 large ones in the waiting area (also take gas crystals to start, so my stomach was inflated). My body seems to reject me drinking it, like my throat wanting to close-off (it has the texture of paint or school glue, and a sweet, chemically taste to go with the paint+glue). So it took me awhile to drink it all. I was getting very angry at my mother going "come on, come on, get this show on the road!" and having a huffy fit while waiting. We also had to wait a long time to even begin because there was a problem with the equipments' generator. Anyway I got it all done, but felt hella nauseous (and kept tasting the barium in my burps). I had pizza but it didn't help, but I did spend the rest of the day at Mattsles, and mostly played "Killer Is Dead". His mother made meatloaf and that at least got rid of the bad taste.
I had a pounding headache when I got back, but I thought it was just the long day (my appointment was at 7:45AM & I got up around 6:00AM), and playing video-games on a big screen television that's also starting to darken with age. I had a bath & ate some French onion soup, took headache pills, and went right to sleep. But I still felt awful the next day. And by the end of it I was having awful intestinal cramps & bright pastel yellow+goldenrod diarrhea. And I couldn't keep much food down, or feel awful after eating. By Sunday I was also sweating profusely. After dinner on Monday I called 811 (Nova Scotia's HealthLink), and the registered nurse thought I might have had a tear somewhere, and the barium leaked into my system. She recommended I go to outpatients immediately. So after being wishy-washy about it for a couple hours, I got my mother to drive me up. I took my laptop & played DMMd for most of the wait. After 4 hours I finally was saw a Dr. Nick [well last name 'Optoff'(sp?) but he wanted to be called Dr. Nick--not sure if he liked "The Simpsons" or not. He was young & blue-eyed with curly blonde hair though. Dressed in the navy blue emergency uniform]. He diagnosed I was having a bad reaction to the barium. So he got a nurse named Paul to put my on IV. I had Gravol (which fucking burned), something like Advil that started with a 'T', lots of saline, & some dialodid(sp?). 2 of those by needles to my hip & the fatty part of my arm. My mom has in the past left me places, and 2 more hours had passed, so though mostly out of it from the Gravol+opioid I got Paul to go check that my mother was still there. She was pissy until she saw that I was on IV. I had to wait even after the 2ND saline because Paul didn't know if Dr. Nick wanted me to stay & have fluids. But it was fine so I got my mom to carry my stuff because I couldn't walk well & we left. I also got my first Hallowe'en Tim Horton's doughnut of the year on the way back. Actually 2, and I ate one when I got back plus a freezer panini sandwich, & a bag of cheese puffs because my stomach was settled so I was ravenous. I sle0t excellently that night. No dreams, or painful feelings beforehand, just the blackness of sleep. I'm mostly over it now, but I've still got a bit of a bruise on my left arm (couldn't find a good vein in my inner elbow, so had it in my wrist, but fuck it bled a lot & I think the Gravol caused more bruising/irritation), and my digestion isn't back to normal yet. Dr. Nick wondered if something could be up with my spleen to cause all the bruising I've been having & all the bleeding at minor things. Feeling around it didn't seem swollen though. But anyway, I'll probably have to have a different contrast medium for an X-ray in the future though.
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You may have missed that I said "my laptop". Well my accountant Mr. Brian Neville gave me his old work laptop. I named it "R-2E-054" after Clear's original serial number. It's a Sony Vaio from 2010-2011 with Windows 7. He told me years ago I could have his old work computer (the company pays every few years), but the model couldn't easily be wiped so he couldn't give it to me. But he said the next one I could have instead. Well I didn't count on it, but about a month ago Debbie (who works the desk, but isn't a secretary. She has the credentials to sell/file/process insurance, but mostly does secretary work) called me early one morning. She said Brian had left a box for me on his desk, and I could pick it up when I was around. I expected his even older work laptop which he keeps bolted to his office desk to be there, but instead it was he more recent one. It has nicks & such from wear, but he even had all the little twist-ties for the cords still in the box. I started having problems with my Shaglehod so I've been glad to have it (first it was forgetting my settings & failing at recognising my harddrives, then a svchost.exe problem with it using 100% CPU). I've mostly just played DMMd & used Twitter via Janetter though. My ACNL post was made with it though.
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As in my previous post, I got "Animal Crossing: New Leaf" on the 15TH. The thing that made me decide to get it was because of the Hallowe'en event, and because I decided to give one last push of trust to people, to try to feel like I have worth to bother with & feel included in something. I felt a lot like people would rather play with other people with it since it came out, and since I couldn't play with those people I couldn't be included with a lot of friends' public open things. Like I'd have to be scheduled separately, so I'd just be a bother, and I felt like i wasn't worth enough to play with. I said I'd only get it if it was bought for me as a gift, since I was too anxious too go & waste the $40 myself. And then once the new Pokémon came out I felt like people would rather play other things as well. But I've been feeling so worthless that I needed something to try to prove other, so I got it. Well as first I had promises of visits, and I actually believed them, I got excited. The first day I got ignored by people with every question I asked about things or things I was looking for. I started to feel like my fear was right, and maybe I had wasted the money, but I still had that planned visit. Well at the said time the person cancelled. Said they were too exhausted, and online interaction sometimes made them anxious, and they were too tired to deal with that. And I would have believed that, if the person didn't then spend the next 4 hours playing Pokémon, especially the Global Link/Wonder Trade online modes, and tweeting about how awesome they were. So instead I felt stupid for having been excited/waiting, and like I was right that others would rather play other things & I felt like I, myself, am worthless to that. Someone else did visit that weekend & bring me purple eyeglasses for my character, but my feeling that people actually wanted to visit my town/have me visit theirs was gone. And I've had 2 other visits since, but I just feel like they were out of pity, and no other interaction has been talked about (I don't have the capacity to bring it up). At least, unlike with "Animal Crossing: Wild World", I don't have the game breaking thing of never having someone visit from online. So at least if I keep playing I can get Shampoodle & the highest Nookling upgrade. In ACWW since no-one kept their promises of visiting, I could never fully upgrade things which made gameplay harder, and that I couldn't have access to somethings. But I gave-up on ACWW because after 124-ish hours of gameplay I just felt like I was pathetically trying to fill in things that I was missing with computer AI. Like real people wouldn't respond to my contact or messages, but anthropomorphic animals that are programmed to like me would. The last straw was on my birthday when people I stupidly thought would contact me didn't, but in-game they threw me a party. And Animal Crossing left a bad taste when I said publically how lonely it made me feel, and how I'd rather interact with people, and someone after months of ignoring every message I sent her, decided that I didn't know what being made feel like shit meant, so she was going to show me. She went around calling me retarded, removing/filtering/deleting/Blocking me, and when I begged her to stop she told me maybe (or maybe not) she would if I acted more "buddy-buddy". That I was messed-up in the head for not believe her & others loved me & for not acting like I was perfectly fine/I wasn't upset [Of course originally she also sent me around 15 Direct Messages to bring my EBZRP character back & shack-up with hers, act like nothing happened, and then everything would be alright. Completely ignoring how fucked my trust was, how hated I felt, and my reasons.] She just didn't seem to understand or was enjoying how upset she was making me feel. Like Blocking me one place then yelling at me for feeling scared/not loved. And when I stopped responding & just huddled in a ball she belittled me then Blocked me on her main account. I've been playing ACNL for a few hours each day though, building my town, and buying clothing & décor. I'm just not really 'feeling' the game now though, since the interactions I hoped for seem pointless to hope for now. And most of my tweets & screenshots I post are ignored so it's adding to my "I am pointless, and everything I do is pointless" feelings. All summer New Leaf is all I seemed to see, people tweeting all the time about & setting-up interactions with. But keep feeling like my fears were right, and I'm excluded. So I'll play the Hallowe'en event & then see how the first week of November goes, before deciding to send my 3DS off now instead of in January. Like I'm enjoying some things, and a lot makes me laugh, but as is without the sociability it doesn't seem enough of point to wait.
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Another Hallowe'en event I need to get the strength to log-in for is Hallowmas. Logging into "Fallen London"/"Echo Bazaar" is so hard for me. I get light-headed, my heart pounds, and my stomach flops around. And playing doesn't feel like my character, since none of it is really happening to her, and I cannot play anything out ever again. And there are so many things I've played & put work into that people decided never happened. I used to read the wikis when new things were added, but with new guidelines limiting content I can no longer do that. I read about the next Nemesis part & the option to kill Scathewick, and I enjoyed thinking about how Lorel would react to it (she'd of course cut off his head, and stand there in release with an expression like a cat on her face). I had in the feeling in the spring that I could maybe play the rest of the Jack of Smiles line, and grind for Nemesis as a kind of AU, but a mass of hurtful Blocks & cancelled invitations ruined that 'momentum' I had found for it. Thus I've not logged in since. But I feel like if I don't do the event I'm not being fair to my character. Though these possible end games don't include "permanently dead before"/"Died from a fall". I think I'll go with the Doctor choice, since it doesn't give the character a reason why he is there or an option to actually choose to dream it. Also his ramblings of orchards would intrigue Lorrie. The 'metallic rap' one reminded me of her thing with knocking with her walking-stick but she thought the Glass/Shroud was rubbish, and the Mirror Marshes(Marches?) scared the crap out of her (most supetnatural things did). The 'sword in the street' also made me think of her, but she is all "fuck exploring, I'm just here for vengeance" and the choice to dream would mean she'd not dream it! So I'll see how I go with logging in. I might not even have what's needed for the doctor one, since again the new guidelines mean I can't find out (given now that Gabriel has removed me, and Jamie hasn't responded I have no-one else playing to ask). I didn't want to drop her death on people with "they're dead, kay thx bai", so I wrote letters to try to finish storylines (including ones promises to retcon never were kept), and give a plan {not to make people feel bad [and also because trying to plan with people kept being ignored (and then after, one person who thought I wasn't serious when I messaged them about it, even said "why didn't you try talking about it?"), except by George)]}. I never thought "you never existed" would happen, and I still believe if it had been anyone else it'd have been acknowledged/she'd have been mourned (like when it happened with another character). All the parties & celebrations right after really hurt. It felt like people were celebrating my character being dead, and me being gone. And when I said so to someone I got "buck up or fuck off". And I guess it felt like it'd be the same reaction if it was me, myself. And with everything that keeps happening, and the worse these feelings get, it still feels like that at times.
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As for my own Hallowe'en events, I've been doing a lot this year since I don't know how my health will be next year, et cetera, et cetera. I went to see the Kentville Pumpkin People (and need to go retake pictures of an inflatable handsom cab outside Greenwood after the pictures corrupted when I Moved instead of Copied with that svchost.exe error and the lag turned my external harddrive off). I have pictures, but I can't get enough of a feeling that it matters to upload them. I did upload some to Twitpic though { http://twitpic.com/photos/Lady_Noremon }. I've also been eating a lot of Hallowe'en doughs from Tim Horton's. They have Boston cream ones with sprinkles & a sugar print-out circle on them. I've mostly had the bat & black cat ones. My main plan is tonight though where I'm going to a haunted house at the MacDonald museum in Middleton. I have a costume for Clear from "DRAMATICAL Murder" together, but I didn't like how my old Killua wig looked, so I ordered a proper wig and as of yesterday it still hasn't arrived. It may be in the may mail this morning, but the mail doesn't get sorted until 10:30AM-ish. I really was excited to dress-up as Clear for the haunted house, but if the wig isn't there today I guess I'll go without a costume. If it's not there tomorrow I'll have to use the Killua one. I did wash it at least, so it's ready. Most of the costume is stuff I already had, so it isn't all that accurate, but I still am giddy about dressing-up as him. I couldn't afford a Avon S10 gas mask (and when I saw the cheaper i had to go to Halifax so responsibly didn't buy one then), but I did by a clear plastic umbrella. If I knew some near a military depot type store, I'd ask them to look for me. My mom thought she'd take me to Annapolis Royal on the 31ST (they go all out, and I thought since I'm short/young looking I could sneak a bit of trick-or-treating in too), but she couldn't get the day off work, so I guess I'm handing-out candy instead. I hung ghosts out in the chestnut tree yesterday, and have 2 pumpkins to carve today or tomorrow. I don't know what to carve in them :/ I usually design my own patterns.
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Well my ordered wig didn't arrive, so I wore my old Killua one. It didn't look the best, but it was better than nothing. I really enjoyed dressing-up as Clear. I'd actually like to do it more properly someday. The haunted house was kind of stupid & offensive (middle-school students acting like they thought mental patients would). Even the storyteller they had as terrible (I stayed for "The Yellow Ribbon" but then there was one about a man chopping limbs off his family's dog). But there was a lot on the first floor for little kids though, like face paint & macaroni art. I wore a gold opera mask for most of it because there was a bigger crowd than expected, and I didn't want to be recognised (a lot of the bullies I had in school now have kids & I worried they'd be there). I'm glad my mother decided to wait around because I was done with the place before 7:00PM :/ I did like the fake books they had stuck on the museum's gift shop shelves. One was like "How To Easily Train Your Black Cat" which made me think of my Lydie. And they gave me a purple (my favourite colour) glow bracelet at least. Also I seem to have snagged my white boots on something there because I had a hole in them when I got back, so I'm pissed about that too. My first time wearing them (I had to take the price tags off that day ffs), and I got them from Zellers years ago. There was all kinds of stuff in the hallways that brush against people, so I suspect that was what caused it (It looks like a cup hook mark).
Also I forgot that Tuesday I got my 2 pumpkins for jack-o'-lanterns, and while I was waiting for the seller's help (Avery's sells them by the pound up but no more than $5.00), a woman interrupted and snootily pointed at the 2 I had & goes "I want that one, and that one.". I told her I had already picked them out & was just waiting to pay, so she got right huffy & gave me dirty looks the whole time it took to pay/load them into the car. On Thursday afternoon I carved that Sock's (cute cat) pattern into one, but didn't know what to carve into the 2ND. I then remembered the screenshot of Clear when he punches the brainwashed Morpheus Ribstez members (I didn't want to do another gas mask where I carved 999!Zero last year, but I only had a few minutes before trick-or-treater time). So I went to print it off, but my printer decided to be out of ink. So I freehanded it instead by looking at the image on my 3DS for reference. Luckily since I've been making my own patterns for around 10 years, I know well how much space is needed to maintain integrity, et cetera, et cetera (that probably wasn't explained well). I'll try to get myself pumped enough to make a proper pattern of it someday. I haven't even uploaded my design from last year though.
As can be seen in the next entry, I decorated more, including a "Ghostbusters" singing ghost. That video was taken before I hung my window lights up (the ones I won in elementary school for a pumpkin I carved then), or got the Clear pumpkin set-up. I took pictures after though that I'll try to upload. I didn't get many of myself though. I didn't take the brats out for a walk in the morning as I planned to either, but I did put festive collars on them for an hour-ish. Lydia didn't have a good time this year, unlike last year. She acted very scared the whole evening, and I was even worried she'd have some sort of spell. She just wasn't herself until yesterday (Friday, November 1ST), and was tired all morning. I told her she wasn't a very good black Hallowe'en cat, but I was worried about her. Timid Nicki on the other hand was quite perky (and as can be seen in the next entry, still loves pumpkins). Minnow even ran outside while I was setting-up the Clear pumpkin. And surprised me by running to the vack door to come back in after I said to her that it wasn't a good time at all to escape (Hallowe'en).
I brought stuff in around 9:00PM, and reheated garlic fingers & got ready to watch the 1922 "Nosferatu". I had been drinking diluted perry most of the evening (after having it with supper), and had the rest with it too so got quite contently tipsy. I also ate cookies I had baked the day before (chocolate chip oatmeal with Reece's Pieces in them too). I love in the 1922 retelling that Jonathan kisses a picture of Nina (Mina) while scared in his room (right after the count menaced him by being weird about blood from a cut Jonathan had). I also love in the novel how he makes notes of trivial things to tell Mina, and being the character that types the diaries up she even keeps the notes in it. I dislike consensual/actively seeking each other Dracula/Mina, preferring my loyal light of all lights Mina (the Van Helsing conversation is where Lorrie's 'lights in the darkness' comes from). So it contents me that in the 1922 silent film they take it so far that she breaks the Nosferatu curse. I love Mina. Sure she can be stupid at times (not getting that of course Lucy could be wandering around in just her nightdress without shoes on), and cares too much about what people think. But she is so clever & level-headed. I know some people dislike her "I want to be an excellent wife & help my husband!", but I don't. Anyway, if you can see "Nosferatu" I recommend it. I bought it on DVD off ebay for about $3.00USD XD And just as I finished Tom really surprised me by inviting me to his New Leaf town for pieces of the Spooky set, so I got comfortable again & did. His villagers kept ambushing me (the Hallowe'en event was on in HoleTown, but I'd set my Nintendo 3DS clock back so Frampton's hadn't begun yet). I ended-up running from them from place to place like from monsters. Limburgh(sp?) & Teddy still changed part of my outfit into the patchwork set though. My lovely cute outfit :( (white lily, purple glasses, beaded top, black formal skirt, black stockings, & black tasselled loafers). I did buy a princess dress & other cute things in HoleTown though. I still haven't done the Hallowe'en event in Frampton though. Too tired Thursday, hopped-up on muscle relaxants Friday, so may get to today. I'm not feeling the game enough to really go out of my way, so :/
![Oh, *gawh*! 1922!Jonathan kissing a picture of Nina [Mina] wh... on Twitpic](https://p.dreamwidth.org/2d14ec5b6414/2842426-534607/twitpic.com/show/thumb/dji9tt.jpg)
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I wanted to get drunk enough to do the Hallowmas event, because everytime I tried all day I couldn't bring myself to load it/log-in. When I finally did I learned that I still needed 5 Nightmares for the Fate option, so I didn't think I'd get to do it. I kept succeeding the Tough challenge of the Hunt For Curios in the Forgotten Quarter, until the storylet disappeared. So all I had was the Unfinished Business in Ladybones Road options. Because I didn't do the higher level University stuff or Flute Street so that was the highest level Watchful storylets I had [Lorrie is Watchful/Dangerous too]. I managed to get up to 3 Nightmares that way plus a Sporing Bonnet, but was too tired to keep grinding. I figured it would be gone by the morning, so gave-up.
The Attracting A Visitor At Hallowmas was still there in the morning so I ground some more. I got 1CP from 5 Nightmares (with the Sporing Bonnet), amnd right after drew the card normally. I selected the doctor one, and prepared for the Liberation Of Night storylet. I am upset that it gives a Destiny quality, because I had hoped it was just a glimpse instead of something definite. I wanted to quit before selecting anything else, but I was stuck there so I had to keep going. Luckily the wikia had the rewards for the different choices, and one was heroic (given that saving a little girl & Triton are why she died) so I picked that. I got GLEAM "Lost in Light" from it.
But I really don't want her to have a determined destiny. Especially since Lorel thinks fate & destiny is bullshit. She believed in luck & people/creatures/things own actions. Which made her too pragmatic, even pessimistic. But it also made her tenacious & patient, because she knew it was her own effort to get things done. So after thinking about that, and having a long think during "Grimm" I guess I feel a bit better about the destiny thing. If I think of the doctor wanting the Ambiguous Detective to stop it from occurring. Because Lorel is ruthless & heroic enough to stop it. Like she had grey morals with work, and the ability to separate her own feelings from it. And she has a thing where she didn't mind killing, but didn't have a proper reaction to it. Like not the right type of remorse, she'd regret losing a contact, or potential information source, or having to clean her sword/clothes, but not the actual ending a life. She didn't enjoy it however, and just thought of it as work or self-preservation. The only killing she'd actually enjoy would be Scathewick, and not even have that cliché after regretting her actions. Actually having her vengeance/answers would have calmed her down. None of that being ready to go at a moment's notice, preparing, et cetera, et cetera. All she wanted to do was relax, get fat, enjoy her homes, and only take cases she wanted to. She would get so tired of playing politics & keeping all her connections. She wanted to rough that devil up, but had to restrain herself because of the Iron Republic. Which probably gave her better Hell respect because she was playing at the same thing they were with being decent. Though after Scathewick she would have dealt with him too. Which also probably wouldn't have hurt her connection, since I think I remember reading a storylet once where devils let someone deal with another who had crossed a line and didn't interfere at all. Anyway, Lorel is patient, ruthless, but prone to heroics. So stopping the Liberation of Night would be something she is recommendable for. So if I see the dream as the worst case, it still makes me feel a bit sick, but maybe she will prevent it. GLEAM suits though (because of her 'lights in the darkness' thing, not just because really she's dead). But I'm not happy about having the mark placed on the account. I've asked if I play the remove destiny option, if I'd lose all the All Hallows quality (since I have several years of it), but where it is a Fate option I doubt I'll get a response. I am also pissed that playing it took all 31 of my Making Waves [which shows how damn much L.S. Cassius had to still have 31 left years later (it dissipate over time)]. It doesn't really matter though since I probably will never play to the end-game anyway. And the actual character Lorel Cassius is dead. So it's not like the in-game one's fate matters. Like for awhile when I do get into playing & thinking of how she'd react to things is fun & it makes me happy, but then everything crushes in again, and I lose the capacity. But at least I can talk about her without giving-in to feeling 'not allowed', and cringing back from expecting to get harassed about doing so. I still don't have enough to post things I didn't, or such though.
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Lastly I guess I'll ramble about the findings with Dr. Saunders. The X-rays showed that the bone may not connect right, but is inmgood shape & not worn down/deteriorated as I feared. She also found that my sternocleidomastoid & masseter muscles are hella tight, like she compared the neck ones to guitar or cello strings made of meat. She doesn't know if the tightness is caused my the jaw irritation or the tightness causes the increased irritation. But any way she put me on a soft food diet (which I've mostly been following, except for chewy bread/crust, and notice when I don't follow it. Like I had something sticky earlier in the week and felt how much my muscles hurt when I used my tongue to get it off my teeth), and wrote me a referral for massage therapy to try to loosen the muscles. She also recommended a bite plate to try, but at $1,200+ dollars for something that might not help and isn't covered by my insurance, I'm going to pass on it--I don't want one anyway. If massage therapy doesn't work she has that I should talk with Dr. Saxon about injections for pain & also Botox to help the muscles. I'm also to stay on my Vimovo for inflammation. She doesn't think surgery should be thought of until I've tried a lot of other things, so we'll see. The surgery would be to break & align my jaw how it should be in the left socket. But it'd also be $10,000-ish & hella painful with other risks. At least the instances where I'd lose hearing & be unable to eat have been fewer now. Dr. Saunders also felt something like a cyst in my neck where I've been having trouble, but Dr. Ruddy doesn't think it needs treatment as it is.
I also got my knee brace ordered from Sole's Provider, but haven't gone to pick it up (because I'm waiting for a refund from SunLife so I'll have the funds). I also finally broke-down and got lenses of my new prescription put in my old spare frames. I haven't been able to find eyeglass frames I like, so at least I liks my spares & only wore them a few times. My right eye (my 'good' eye, my left has an astigmatism. I'm also nearsighted) has gotten worse since my last examination & I have had trouble reading books in this dark old house, so now I can see better. I had my last pair of eyeglasses since 2007 (but had examinations after that, though the prescriptions expired due to me not finding frames). I still need to get the nose piece replaced with something like my old pair though, as this is a bit too tall & I see it out of the corner of my eye and think my glasses are dirty/I've got Kleenex snagged in it.
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Oh and we had a rain & wind storm Thursday & Friday so I doubt I'll get to go to that corn maze this year because it's probably been flattened/ruined by said storm.
EDIT---
I've uploaded some pictures & linked to the PhotoBucket album in the next post after this.
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Since the late winter/early spring I've felt so tired. Like not even just depressed tired. But I've had very little energy, and weak with hand strength & such. I at first just figured it was because I had given-up. I had a lot of stress & painful removals in the spring (and more recently), and I thought that I was so tired because I didn't feel much point with anything anymore. But I asked my doctor for bloodwork because it could also be my anaemia being a jerk. Well the first bloodwork showed my Iron was fine, but my white blood cell count was high. So another test, and one for a stomach ulcer, and no infection was found but the white blood cells were even higher. Waited 2 weeks and another test with again the count was high. I've been tested for mono', and that's been negative. No urinary track infections or flus. So Dr. Yafai thinks it could be a warning for something to develop with my bone marrow, like leukemia. I've got to go for bloodwork every 3 months now, and if the count reaches 20,000 he'll have my marrow tested. I have now had my blood tested 4 times in the past 3 months and on average it has been around 15,000.
I also had to see Dr. Ruddy (an ear's nose & throat specialist with a thick Scottish accent) because of that lump Dr. Saunders found, & I've also been having spells of a tightness in my throat & trouble swallowing. Usually the things I have trouble with are things neither liquid or solid--like soup or milkshakes. I had an endoscopy done, and I fucking hate them. It gave me the creeps because it felt like a long, thin snake was going down my throat. He didn't use anesthetic so I had a sore throat for days after too. He thought it might be my stomach causing some of it so on Thanksgiving weekend I also had to go do a barium X-ray/follow-through which is my least favourite test so far. I had one back in 2006 & couldn't keep the barium down, and this time I had to drink 2 smaller cups (one while standing, and one through a straw while laying down), and then 2 large ones in the waiting area (also take gas crystals to start, so my stomach was inflated). My body seems to reject me drinking it, like my throat wanting to close-off (it has the texture of paint or school glue, and a sweet, chemically taste to go with the paint+glue). So it took me awhile to drink it all. I was getting very angry at my mother going "come on, come on, get this show on the road!" and having a huffy fit while waiting. We also had to wait a long time to even begin because there was a problem with the equipments' generator. Anyway I got it all done, but felt hella nauseous (and kept tasting the barium in my burps). I had pizza but it didn't help, but I did spend the rest of the day at Mattsles, and mostly played "Killer Is Dead". His mother made meatloaf and that at least got rid of the bad taste.
I had a pounding headache when I got back, but I thought it was just the long day (my appointment was at 7:45AM & I got up around 6:00AM), and playing video-games on a big screen television that's also starting to darken with age. I had a bath & ate some French onion soup, took headache pills, and went right to sleep. But I still felt awful the next day. And by the end of it I was having awful intestinal cramps & bright pastel yellow+goldenrod diarrhea. And I couldn't keep much food down, or feel awful after eating. By Sunday I was also sweating profusely. After dinner on Monday I called 811 (Nova Scotia's HealthLink), and the registered nurse thought I might have had a tear somewhere, and the barium leaked into my system. She recommended I go to outpatients immediately. So after being wishy-washy about it for a couple hours, I got my mother to drive me up. I took my laptop & played DMMd for most of the wait. After 4 hours I finally was saw a Dr. Nick [well last name 'Optoff'(sp?) but he wanted to be called Dr. Nick--not sure if he liked "The Simpsons" or not. He was young & blue-eyed with curly blonde hair though. Dressed in the navy blue emergency uniform]. He diagnosed I was having a bad reaction to the barium. So he got a nurse named Paul to put my on IV. I had Gravol (which fucking burned), something like Advil that started with a 'T', lots of saline, & some dialodid(sp?). 2 of those by needles to my hip & the fatty part of my arm. My mom has in the past left me places, and 2 more hours had passed, so though mostly out of it from the Gravol+opioid I got Paul to go check that my mother was still there. She was pissy until she saw that I was on IV. I had to wait even after the 2ND saline because Paul didn't know if Dr. Nick wanted me to stay & have fluids. But it was fine so I got my mom to carry my stuff because I couldn't walk well & we left. I also got my first Hallowe'en Tim Horton's doughnut of the year on the way back. Actually 2, and I ate one when I got back plus a freezer panini sandwich, & a bag of cheese puffs because my stomach was settled so I was ravenous. I sle0t excellently that night. No dreams, or painful feelings beforehand, just the blackness of sleep. I'm mostly over it now, but I've still got a bit of a bruise on my left arm (couldn't find a good vein in my inner elbow, so had it in my wrist, but fuck it bled a lot & I think the Gravol caused more bruising/irritation), and my digestion isn't back to normal yet. Dr. Nick wondered if something could be up with my spleen to cause all the bruising I've been having & all the bleeding at minor things. Feeling around it didn't seem swollen though. But anyway, I'll probably have to have a different contrast medium for an X-ray in the future though.
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You may have missed that I said "my laptop". Well my accountant Mr. Brian Neville gave me his old work laptop. I named it "R-2E-054" after Clear's original serial number. It's a Sony Vaio from 2010-2011 with Windows 7. He told me years ago I could have his old work computer (the company pays every few years), but the model couldn't easily be wiped so he couldn't give it to me. But he said the next one I could have instead. Well I didn't count on it, but about a month ago Debbie (who works the desk, but isn't a secretary. She has the credentials to sell/file/process insurance, but mostly does secretary work) called me early one morning. She said Brian had left a box for me on his desk, and I could pick it up when I was around. I expected his even older work laptop which he keeps bolted to his office desk to be there, but instead it was he more recent one. It has nicks & such from wear, but he even had all the little twist-ties for the cords still in the box. I started having problems with my Shaglehod so I've been glad to have it (first it was forgetting my settings & failing at recognising my harddrives, then a svchost.exe problem with it using 100% CPU). I've mostly just played DMMd & used Twitter via Janetter though. My ACNL post was made with it though.
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As in my previous post, I got "Animal Crossing: New Leaf" on the 15TH. The thing that made me decide to get it was because of the Hallowe'en event, and because I decided to give one last push of trust to people, to try to feel like I have worth to bother with & feel included in something. I felt a lot like people would rather play with other people with it since it came out, and since I couldn't play with those people I couldn't be included with a lot of friends' public open things. Like I'd have to be scheduled separately, so I'd just be a bother, and I felt like i wasn't worth enough to play with. I said I'd only get it if it was bought for me as a gift, since I was too anxious too go & waste the $40 myself. And then once the new Pokémon came out I felt like people would rather play other things as well. But I've been feeling so worthless that I needed something to try to prove other, so I got it. Well as first I had promises of visits, and I actually believed them, I got excited. The first day I got ignored by people with every question I asked about things or things I was looking for. I started to feel like my fear was right, and maybe I had wasted the money, but I still had that planned visit. Well at the said time the person cancelled. Said they were too exhausted, and online interaction sometimes made them anxious, and they were too tired to deal with that. And I would have believed that, if the person didn't then spend the next 4 hours playing Pokémon, especially the Global Link/Wonder Trade online modes, and tweeting about how awesome they were. So instead I felt stupid for having been excited/waiting, and like I was right that others would rather play other things & I felt like I, myself, am worthless to that. Someone else did visit that weekend & bring me purple eyeglasses for my character, but my feeling that people actually wanted to visit my town/have me visit theirs was gone. And I've had 2 other visits since, but I just feel like they were out of pity, and no other interaction has been talked about (I don't have the capacity to bring it up). At least, unlike with "Animal Crossing: Wild World", I don't have the game breaking thing of never having someone visit from online. So at least if I keep playing I can get Shampoodle & the highest Nookling upgrade. In ACWW since no-one kept their promises of visiting, I could never fully upgrade things which made gameplay harder, and that I couldn't have access to somethings. But I gave-up on ACWW because after 124-ish hours of gameplay I just felt like I was pathetically trying to fill in things that I was missing with computer AI. Like real people wouldn't respond to my contact or messages, but anthropomorphic animals that are programmed to like me would. The last straw was on my birthday when people I stupidly thought would contact me didn't, but in-game they threw me a party. And Animal Crossing left a bad taste when I said publically how lonely it made me feel, and how I'd rather interact with people, and someone after months of ignoring every message I sent her, decided that I didn't know what being made feel like shit meant, so she was going to show me. She went around calling me retarded, removing/filtering/deleting/Blocking me, and when I begged her to stop she told me maybe (or maybe not) she would if I acted more "buddy-buddy". That I was messed-up in the head for not believe her & others loved me & for not acting like I was perfectly fine/I wasn't upset [Of course originally she also sent me around 15 Direct Messages to bring my EBZRP character back & shack-up with hers, act like nothing happened, and then everything would be alright. Completely ignoring how fucked my trust was, how hated I felt, and my reasons.] She just didn't seem to understand or was enjoying how upset she was making me feel. Like Blocking me one place then yelling at me for feeling scared/not loved. And when I stopped responding & just huddled in a ball she belittled me then Blocked me on her main account. I've been playing ACNL for a few hours each day though, building my town, and buying clothing & décor. I'm just not really 'feeling' the game now though, since the interactions I hoped for seem pointless to hope for now. And most of my tweets & screenshots I post are ignored so it's adding to my "I am pointless, and everything I do is pointless" feelings. All summer New Leaf is all I seemed to see, people tweeting all the time about & setting-up interactions with. But keep feeling like my fears were right, and I'm excluded. So I'll play the Hallowe'en event & then see how the first week of November goes, before deciding to send my 3DS off now instead of in January. Like I'm enjoying some things, and a lot makes me laugh, but as is without the sociability it doesn't seem enough of point to wait.
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Another Hallowe'en event I need to get the strength to log-in for is Hallowmas. Logging into "Fallen London"/"Echo Bazaar" is so hard for me. I get light-headed, my heart pounds, and my stomach flops around. And playing doesn't feel like my character, since none of it is really happening to her, and I cannot play anything out ever again. And there are so many things I've played & put work into that people decided never happened. I used to read the wikis when new things were added, but with new guidelines limiting content I can no longer do that. I read about the next Nemesis part & the option to kill Scathewick, and I enjoyed thinking about how Lorel would react to it (she'd of course cut off his head, and stand there in release with an expression like a cat on her face). I had in the feeling in the spring that I could maybe play the rest of the Jack of Smiles line, and grind for Nemesis as a kind of AU, but a mass of hurtful Blocks & cancelled invitations ruined that 'momentum' I had found for it. Thus I've not logged in since. But I feel like if I don't do the event I'm not being fair to my character. Though these possible end games don't include "permanently dead before"/"Died from a fall". I think I'll go with the Doctor choice, since it doesn't give the character a reason why he is there or an option to actually choose to dream it. Also his ramblings of orchards would intrigue Lorrie. The 'metallic rap' one reminded me of her thing with knocking with her walking-stick but she thought the Glass/Shroud was rubbish, and the Mirror Marshes(Marches?) scared the crap out of her (most supetnatural things did). The 'sword in the street' also made me think of her, but she is all "fuck exploring, I'm just here for vengeance" and the choice to dream would mean she'd not dream it! So I'll see how I go with logging in. I might not even have what's needed for the doctor one, since again the new guidelines mean I can't find out (given now that Gabriel has removed me, and Jamie hasn't responded I have no-one else playing to ask). I didn't want to drop her death on people with "they're dead, kay thx bai", so I wrote letters to try to finish storylines (including ones promises to retcon never were kept), and give a plan {not to make people feel bad [and also because trying to plan with people kept being ignored (and then after, one person who thought I wasn't serious when I messaged them about it, even said "why didn't you try talking about it?"), except by George)]}. I never thought "you never existed" would happen, and I still believe if it had been anyone else it'd have been acknowledged/she'd have been mourned (like when it happened with another character). All the parties & celebrations right after really hurt. It felt like people were celebrating my character being dead, and me being gone. And when I said so to someone I got "buck up or fuck off". And I guess it felt like it'd be the same reaction if it was me, myself. And with everything that keeps happening, and the worse these feelings get, it still feels like that at times.
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As for my own Hallowe'en events, I've been doing a lot this year since I don't know how my health will be next year, et cetera, et cetera. I went to see the Kentville Pumpkin People (and need to go retake pictures of an inflatable handsom cab outside Greenwood after the pictures corrupted when I Moved instead of Copied with that svchost.exe error and the lag turned my external harddrive off). I have pictures, but I can't get enough of a feeling that it matters to upload them. I did upload some to Twitpic though { http://twitpic.com/photos/Lady_Noremon }. I've also been eating a lot of Hallowe'en doughs from Tim Horton's. They have Boston cream ones with sprinkles & a sugar print-out circle on them. I've mostly had the bat & black cat ones. My main plan is tonight though where I'm going to a haunted house at the MacDonald museum in Middleton. I have a costume for Clear from "DRAMATICAL Murder" together, but I didn't like how my old Killua wig looked, so I ordered a proper wig and as of yesterday it still hasn't arrived. It may be in the may mail this morning, but the mail doesn't get sorted until 10:30AM-ish. I really was excited to dress-up as Clear for the haunted house, but if the wig isn't there today I guess I'll go without a costume. If it's not there tomorrow I'll have to use the Killua one. I did wash it at least, so it's ready. Most of the costume is stuff I already had, so it isn't all that accurate, but I still am giddy about dressing-up as him. I couldn't afford a Avon S10 gas mask (and when I saw the cheaper i had to go to Halifax so responsibly didn't buy one then), but I did by a clear plastic umbrella. If I knew some near a military depot type store, I'd ask them to look for me. My mom thought she'd take me to Annapolis Royal on the 31ST (they go all out, and I thought since I'm short/young looking I could sneak a bit of trick-or-treating in too), but she couldn't get the day off work, so I guess I'm handing-out candy instead. I hung ghosts out in the chestnut tree yesterday, and have 2 pumpkins to carve today or tomorrow. I don't know what to carve in them :/ I usually design my own patterns.
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Well my ordered wig didn't arrive, so I wore my old Killua one. It didn't look the best, but it was better than nothing. I really enjoyed dressing-up as Clear. I'd actually like to do it more properly someday. The haunted house was kind of stupid & offensive (middle-school students acting like they thought mental patients would). Even the storyteller they had as terrible (I stayed for "The Yellow Ribbon" but then there was one about a man chopping limbs off his family's dog). But there was a lot on the first floor for little kids though, like face paint & macaroni art. I wore a gold opera mask for most of it because there was a bigger crowd than expected, and I didn't want to be recognised (a lot of the bullies I had in school now have kids & I worried they'd be there). I'm glad my mother decided to wait around because I was done with the place before 7:00PM :/ I did like the fake books they had stuck on the museum's gift shop shelves. One was like "How To Easily Train Your Black Cat" which made me think of my Lydie. And they gave me a purple (my favourite colour) glow bracelet at least. Also I seem to have snagged my white boots on something there because I had a hole in them when I got back, so I'm pissed about that too. My first time wearing them (I had to take the price tags off that day ffs), and I got them from Zellers years ago. There was all kinds of stuff in the hallways that brush against people, so I suspect that was what caused it (It looks like a cup hook mark).
Also I forgot that Tuesday I got my 2 pumpkins for jack-o'-lanterns, and while I was waiting for the seller's help (Avery's sells them by the pound up but no more than $5.00), a woman interrupted and snootily pointed at the 2 I had & goes "I want that one, and that one.". I told her I had already picked them out & was just waiting to pay, so she got right huffy & gave me dirty looks the whole time it took to pay/load them into the car. On Thursday afternoon I carved that Sock's (cute cat) pattern into one, but didn't know what to carve into the 2ND. I then remembered the screenshot of Clear when he punches the brainwashed Morpheus Ribstez members (I didn't want to do another gas mask where I carved 999!Zero last year, but I only had a few minutes before trick-or-treater time). So I went to print it off, but my printer decided to be out of ink. So I freehanded it instead by looking at the image on my 3DS for reference. Luckily since I've been making my own patterns for around 10 years, I know well how much space is needed to maintain integrity, et cetera, et cetera (that probably wasn't explained well). I'll try to get myself pumped enough to make a proper pattern of it someday. I haven't even uploaded my design from last year though.
As can be seen in the next entry, I decorated more, including a "Ghostbusters" singing ghost. That video was taken before I hung my window lights up (the ones I won in elementary school for a pumpkin I carved then), or got the Clear pumpkin set-up. I took pictures after though that I'll try to upload. I didn't get many of myself though. I didn't take the brats out for a walk in the morning as I planned to either, but I did put festive collars on them for an hour-ish. Lydia didn't have a good time this year, unlike last year. She acted very scared the whole evening, and I was even worried she'd have some sort of spell. She just wasn't herself until yesterday (Friday, November 1ST), and was tired all morning. I told her she wasn't a very good black Hallowe'en cat, but I was worried about her. Timid Nicki on the other hand was quite perky (and as can be seen in the next entry, still loves pumpkins). Minnow even ran outside while I was setting-up the Clear pumpkin. And surprised me by running to the vack door to come back in after I said to her that it wasn't a good time at all to escape (Hallowe'en).
I brought stuff in around 9:00PM, and reheated garlic fingers & got ready to watch the 1922 "Nosferatu". I had been drinking diluted perry most of the evening (after having it with supper), and had the rest with it too so got quite contently tipsy. I also ate cookies I had baked the day before (chocolate chip oatmeal with Reece's Pieces in them too). I love in the 1922 retelling that Jonathan kisses a picture of Nina (Mina) while scared in his room (right after the count menaced him by being weird about blood from a cut Jonathan had). I also love in the novel how he makes notes of trivial things to tell Mina, and being the character that types the diaries up she even keeps the notes in it. I dislike consensual/actively seeking each other Dracula/Mina, preferring my loyal light of all lights Mina (the Van Helsing conversation is where Lorrie's 'lights in the darkness' comes from). So it contents me that in the 1922 silent film they take it so far that she breaks the Nosferatu curse. I love Mina. Sure she can be stupid at times (not getting that of course Lucy could be wandering around in just her nightdress without shoes on), and cares too much about what people think. But she is so clever & level-headed. I know some people dislike her "I want to be an excellent wife & help my husband!", but I don't. Anyway, if you can see "Nosferatu" I recommend it. I bought it on DVD off ebay for about $3.00USD XD And just as I finished Tom really surprised me by inviting me to his New Leaf town for pieces of the Spooky set, so I got comfortable again & did. His villagers kept ambushing me (the Hallowe'en event was on in HoleTown, but I'd set my Nintendo 3DS clock back so Frampton's hadn't begun yet). I ended-up running from them from place to place like from monsters. Limburgh(sp?) & Teddy still changed part of my outfit into the patchwork set though. My lovely cute outfit :( (white lily, purple glasses, beaded top, black formal skirt, black stockings, & black tasselled loafers). I did buy a princess dress & other cute things in HoleTown though. I still haven't done the Hallowe'en event in Frampton though. Too tired Thursday, hopped-up on muscle relaxants Friday, so may get to today. I'm not feeling the game enough to really go out of my way, so :/
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I wanted to get drunk enough to do the Hallowmas event, because everytime I tried all day I couldn't bring myself to load it/log-in. When I finally did I learned that I still needed 5 Nightmares for the Fate option, so I didn't think I'd get to do it. I kept succeeding the Tough challenge of the Hunt For Curios in the Forgotten Quarter, until the storylet disappeared. So all I had was the Unfinished Business in Ladybones Road options. Because I didn't do the higher level University stuff or Flute Street so that was the highest level Watchful storylets I had [Lorrie is Watchful/Dangerous too]. I managed to get up to 3 Nightmares that way plus a Sporing Bonnet, but was too tired to keep grinding. I figured it would be gone by the morning, so gave-up.
The Attracting A Visitor At Hallowmas was still there in the morning so I ground some more. I got 1CP from 5 Nightmares (with the Sporing Bonnet), amnd right after drew the card normally. I selected the doctor one, and prepared for the Liberation Of Night storylet. I am upset that it gives a Destiny quality, because I had hoped it was just a glimpse instead of something definite. I wanted to quit before selecting anything else, but I was stuck there so I had to keep going. Luckily the wikia had the rewards for the different choices, and one was heroic (given that saving a little girl & Triton are why she died) so I picked that. I got GLEAM "Lost in Light" from it.
But I really don't want her to have a determined destiny. Especially since Lorel thinks fate & destiny is bullshit. She believed in luck & people/creatures/things own actions. Which made her too pragmatic, even pessimistic. But it also made her tenacious & patient, because she knew it was her own effort to get things done. So after thinking about that, and having a long think during "Grimm" I guess I feel a bit better about the destiny thing. If I think of the doctor wanting the Ambiguous Detective to stop it from occurring. Because Lorel is ruthless & heroic enough to stop it. Like she had grey morals with work, and the ability to separate her own feelings from it. And she has a thing where she didn't mind killing, but didn't have a proper reaction to it. Like not the right type of remorse, she'd regret losing a contact, or potential information source, or having to clean her sword/clothes, but not the actual ending a life. She didn't enjoy it however, and just thought of it as work or self-preservation. The only killing she'd actually enjoy would be Scathewick, and not even have that cliché after regretting her actions. Actually having her vengeance/answers would have calmed her down. None of that being ready to go at a moment's notice, preparing, et cetera, et cetera. All she wanted to do was relax, get fat, enjoy her homes, and only take cases she wanted to. She would get so tired of playing politics & keeping all her connections. She wanted to rough that devil up, but had to restrain herself because of the Iron Republic. Which probably gave her better Hell respect because she was playing at the same thing they were with being decent. Though after Scathewick she would have dealt with him too. Which also probably wouldn't have hurt her connection, since I think I remember reading a storylet once where devils let someone deal with another who had crossed a line and didn't interfere at all. Anyway, Lorel is patient, ruthless, but prone to heroics. So stopping the Liberation of Night would be something she is recommendable for. So if I see the dream as the worst case, it still makes me feel a bit sick, but maybe she will prevent it. GLEAM suits though (because of her 'lights in the darkness' thing, not just because really she's dead). But I'm not happy about having the mark placed on the account. I've asked if I play the remove destiny option, if I'd lose all the All Hallows quality (since I have several years of it), but where it is a Fate option I doubt I'll get a response. I am also pissed that playing it took all 31 of my Making Waves [which shows how damn much L.S. Cassius had to still have 31 left years later (it dissipate over time)]. It doesn't really matter though since I probably will never play to the end-game anyway. And the actual character Lorel Cassius is dead. So it's not like the in-game one's fate matters. Like for awhile when I do get into playing & thinking of how she'd react to things is fun & it makes me happy, but then everything crushes in again, and I lose the capacity. But at least I can talk about her without giving-in to feeling 'not allowed', and cringing back from expecting to get harassed about doing so. I still don't have enough to post things I didn't, or such though.
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Lastly I guess I'll ramble about the findings with Dr. Saunders. The X-rays showed that the bone may not connect right, but is inmgood shape & not worn down/deteriorated as I feared. She also found that my sternocleidomastoid & masseter muscles are hella tight, like she compared the neck ones to guitar or cello strings made of meat. She doesn't know if the tightness is caused my the jaw irritation or the tightness causes the increased irritation. But any way she put me on a soft food diet (which I've mostly been following, except for chewy bread/crust, and notice when I don't follow it. Like I had something sticky earlier in the week and felt how much my muscles hurt when I used my tongue to get it off my teeth), and wrote me a referral for massage therapy to try to loosen the muscles. She also recommended a bite plate to try, but at $1,200+ dollars for something that might not help and isn't covered by my insurance, I'm going to pass on it--I don't want one anyway. If massage therapy doesn't work she has that I should talk with Dr. Saxon about injections for pain & also Botox to help the muscles. I'm also to stay on my Vimovo for inflammation. She doesn't think surgery should be thought of until I've tried a lot of other things, so we'll see. The surgery would be to break & align my jaw how it should be in the left socket. But it'd also be $10,000-ish & hella painful with other risks. At least the instances where I'd lose hearing & be unable to eat have been fewer now. Dr. Saunders also felt something like a cyst in my neck where I've been having trouble, but Dr. Ruddy doesn't think it needs treatment as it is.
I also got my knee brace ordered from Sole's Provider, but haven't gone to pick it up (because I'm waiting for a refund from SunLife so I'll have the funds). I also finally broke-down and got lenses of my new prescription put in my old spare frames. I haven't been able to find eyeglass frames I like, so at least I liks my spares & only wore them a few times. My right eye (my 'good' eye, my left has an astigmatism. I'm also nearsighted) has gotten worse since my last examination & I have had trouble reading books in this dark old house, so now I can see better. I had my last pair of eyeglasses since 2007 (but had examinations after that, though the prescriptions expired due to me not finding frames). I still need to get the nose piece replaced with something like my old pair though, as this is a bit too tall & I see it out of the corner of my eye and think my glasses are dirty/I've got Kleenex snagged in it.
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Oh and we had a rain & wind storm Thursday & Friday so I doubt I'll get to go to that corn maze this year because it's probably been flattened/ruined by said storm.
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I've uploaded some pictures & linked to the PhotoBucket album in the next post after this.
